Friendship

I have spent a lot of time in the last week thinking of friendship.

It started last Friday when I had coffee with my study buddy from graduate school who I had not seen in 8 years. When we were in grad school we spent a lot of time together because we were going to school fulltime and working fulltime at the same company. We studied together and did projects together. It was not unusal to spend all day Saturday in class together and all day Sunday working on projects together. And most importantly, he "carried" me thru our quantatative and qualitiative analysis class. He was incredibly patient as he explained the concepts to me over and over again.

But as life is, after we graduated we became busy with our families and careers and lost touch.

I thought of him often over the years and hoped that he was happy and well. About 3 weeks ago, I looked him up on the web and located him at a company in Israel. I reached out to learn that he would be in the Bay Area the next week and we decided to meet for coffee.

As in the case of a true friendship, we immediately picked up where we left off and enthusiastically caught up on each others lives - sharing in the triumphs, the missteps and sorrows. We left coffee that day committed to keeping in touch.

Our encounter made me appreciate the variety and quality of friends I have in my life. And it made me realize how much they mean to me and how deeply they touch me. They truly make my life richer.

At the same time that I rekindled this friendship, I have been experiencing the loss of another friend.

And this friendship could not be any more different than my friendship with my study buddy. But is just as rich and meaningful.

My neighbor, who we have lived across the street from for 15 years, has been very sick. She has fought cancer a couple times and just finished another round of chemo about 6 weeks ago. The tests after the chemo was done, were very encouraging - the tumors in her lungs had shrunk.

But shortly after she stopped chemo she started getting sick. She got sicker and sicker until she was finally hospitalized last week. In the hospital, even on iv nourishment and antibiotics, she became sicker. Finally last nite, her husband called to tell us that there are cancer cells in her spinal fluid and that she was terminal. She will likely only live a few more weeks.

My neighbor is a woman in her mid-60's who drove a school bus. She is vastly different from my study buddy. But she is as important to me as any other friend I have. And I am devastated for her and her family.

I am not sure what the moral of this story is...maybe it is to love your friends and try to make their lives as rich as they make yours... maybe it is to live life to the fullest each day....or maybe it is more simple....maybe it is to just love your friends and your family with all your heart.